In this hyper-educated age
When paleo is all the rage,
I know that some take moral issue
With a ripping from the tissue–
They deem it but aggression of a low and passive kind.
But while they’d rather clear the air
Or gale on body’s disrepair,
I find that I’m much more inclined
To vent my thoughts from my behind.
Why blabber on in endless words
To strive your point to sell,
When syllable from where you’re furred
Can speak it just as well?
What use for social conduct code?
That’s candy coating the commode.
No spray of Spring-fresh sickly scent
Can sweeten aught from where we’re rent.
But if you’d rather be covert
And gas-face looks of horror avert,
Smile and speak in sweetest tones
As silently from ‘tween your bones
You puff your pants with dry-gush wrought in hell:
Forget the tolling of the bell;
T’were better far to fear this knell
And–wait for it–the sulfur smell.