Far(t) Trek

Captain Kirk was on the bridge when Scotty called in haste,
“Capt’n, she’s a gonna blow—we’ve got to vent this waste.”
The captain swiveled in his chair and yelled to Mr. Spock,
“If you could finish probing please… we need to pass this rock.”

The Vulcan bristled back his ears and lectured from his mouth,
“I’m going at my fastest speed, there’s trouble brewing south.”
Uhura interjected then, while showing off some thigh,
“I’m getting a distress call sir, a Klingon’s floating by.”

“Captain,” Mr Sulu said, “let’s use the tractor beam.
If we can aim exactly right, we’ll catch him in the stream.”
“Agreed,” the captain hollered and the stream emitted forth,
Then instantly he felt relief creep up from south to north.

He then remembered Scotty who had called him from the aft,
“Prepare the waste for venting; stick it in a shuttle craft.”
“Already done sir,” said the Scotsman, “let’s nay more delay.”
“Then fire,” barked the captain and the craft squeezed out from bay.

With that the giant vessel groaned as it passed out the waste–
And somewhere on a nearby moon, it started raining paste.



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