Natty and Gnatty

Gnatty:
“I like your shirt. Did you just buy it? It looks so crisp and natty.
If you don’t mind my saying so, your old one was so ratty.”

Natty:
“That’s very kind of you, my dear, and you appear less fatty.
I noticed that your fly’s loose though—the room is getting gnatty.”

WordPress daily writing prompt (word highlighted above).

 

 

Doctor-Patient Ice-Breaking

Doctor:
As we strap you in the stirrup, tell me what you do for work.

Patient:
I work in advertising, selling distant dreams to jerks.
The things I make are substanceless; they’re all imaginary.

Doctor:
My work site tends to more tactile, and quite vaginary.

Patient:
The pay is good but sometimes people’s smiles are gnashing teeth.

Doctor:
The view is great—but sometimes I can’t breathe because of queef.

WordPress daily writing prompts (words highlighted above).

 

Shear Pink

When I think
Upon the pink
It brings me nearly
To the brink.

Who knew that wink
In biped crink
Could spill such ink,
Whole day could kink?

While it drips into the sink
Perhaps I’ll have another drink
And do my best this wound to prink,
This papercut from which I shrink.

WordPress daily writing prompt: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/pink/

Bee Careful

I swear it was just temporary,
The lid left off the apiary.

It’s not a reason to be bitter;
Sweet’s abundant from these critters.

The little part I’d left exposed
Feels better now with gauze enclosed.

The only source of worry left is you,
Whom nest of angry bees does now pursue.

WordPress daily writing prompts (words highlighted above).

 

Wedding Chicken Panic

The caterer’s not feeling well,
And wedding guests will soon taste hell.
He’s hurled into the wedding chicken,
Left it in the pan to thicken,
A faux pas guaranteed to sicken,
Leaving nuptial diners stricken.
Wedding partiers fresh frolicked
Are just about to become pan-icked.

WordPress daily writing prompt: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/panicked/

The Nun None the Wiser

Nun:
“Pardon me, most reverend sir,
If this seems off the cuff;
I know your thoughts are loftier,
But I have had enough.

“How do you keep from boredom
In this little bishopric?
Please share some words of wisdom,
For with ennui I am thick.”

Bishop:
“Please don’t tell the abbot,
Since he’s quite a moralizer.
I get into a habit.”

Nun:
“Not to worry; nun’s the wiser.”

WordPress daily writing prompt: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/none/