Captain Kirk was on the bridge when Scotty called in haste,
“Capt’n, she’s a gonna blow—we’ve got to vent this waste.”
The captain swiveled in his chair and yelled to Mr. Spock,
“If you could finish probing please… we need to pass this rock.”
Continue reading “Far(t) Trek”
To write in verse unrhymed, that’s blank;
It’s nothing more than monkey-spank.
While you can wrist a quick one out,
It’s hardly worthy of a shout.
Blank verse is good for metered drama–
Just save it up to show your momma.
They hide out in the parking lot in plateless brand-new cars
And listen to my merest whispers–have you got full bars?
They follow me in traffic like some lovesick brontosaur
And whisper unsweet nothings–that you talking, commissar?
Continue reading “The Trolls”
Your reputation, cat, exceeds
Your lack of hygiene; don’t you breeds
Soil over steamy poo as soon as passed?
Continue reading “The Cat that Shat”
In this hyper-educated age
When paleo is all the rage,
I know that some take moral issue
With a ripping from the tissue–
They deem it but aggression of a low and passive kind.
Continue reading “Paleo”
I hardly mind
that my behind
has fallen flab and loose–
What bothers me
is when I pee
I poot the smell of deuce.
Continue reading “Dad the Ripper”
It’s good to have a job; it pays the bills–
Yet nothing like a solid poem thrills.
Continue reading “Nothing Like a Solid Poem Thrills”