A banker joined a singles club
(Or so goes his account)
To date, but only got the snub,
And in no small amount.
He tried, much to his credit,
But their enmity accrued.
“I say, you ought your words to edit;
You’re really awfully rude!”
And when against a lass he liened
To tempt her with his hose,
Predictably, she countered mean:
“With that, you’ll never close.”
Another dame said he’s a wreck
And wanted but to bone.
“Good heavens, keep yourself in check,
And please leave me a loan.”
Another darling found him dull;
She just was not impressed.
“You may possess great principal
But I have zero interest.”
Rejection put him off his balance,
But to the wretch’s credit,
He’s back despite deterrence,
To reattempt deposit.
WordPress daily writing prompt (word highlighted above).
Rhymes of horror, just in time for the holiday season. And it’s not just for Halloween!
You say I rob the cradle?
That merits no response.
It’s standard in my family:
Old uncles want new aunts.
In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/nuance/
Disclaimer: This hardly needs to be said but here it is: this is fiction, plain and simple. No relation to my actual life or experiences. Have a laugh or bugger off–entirely your choice. 🙂
When I stopped going to the gym,
I lost my augmentation.
This caused a shrinkage rather grim,
Beyond my ex-pec-tation.
For laziness I’ve paid the toll
But I’m no slothy slouch.
I’m using my remote control
For curls upon the couch.
In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/expectation/
“He’s frowning with such seriousness
But I can’t tell what’s the matter.”
“No worries; his imperiousness
Is just leaking out his bladder.”
In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/seriousness/
Of this remain aware
Next time your spirits fall:
Though life may not be fair,
It’s quite a carnival.
In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/aware/
You interpret my blush
As the sign of a crush.
Yet I’m actually lush
With the fermented mush.
Pardon my rush
But I’m going to gush.
Not sure if I’ll brush
But I promise to flush.
In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/lush/
Easy work to criticize
Effusions of the heart.
Harder far to vocalize
A Cupid-rendered smart.
Continue reading “Heart-pang Rhyme”
Seamstress to her customer, “You gave me such a tremble.
Had you come any closer, I’d have felt a nasty prick.”
“Apologies”, he answered, “for I meant no churlish trick.
I saw you were exposed and I was offering my thimble.”
In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/tremble/
In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/recognize/
Sometimes it’s hard to recognize
The perfect moment when it’s wise
To stop imbibing with your eyes
The motion of a pair of thighs.
Continue reading “Perfect Lunch”