Tom Turkey deals some holiday payback on Black Friday shoppers…
With gorge-fest passed or partially digested,
The brick-and-mortar shoppers now infested,
In search of bargains on this Friday black,
A day from which not all would journey back.
The mall was crawling with the teeming rabble;
For one-day discounts each of them did scrabble.
Unnoticed came the beast with ’Zilla hobble
Til it announced itself with giant gobble:
“Behold, you gabbling swarm of gnashing monkeys!
It’s time for me to make some gravy chunky,
To dress your roasted flesh both dark and light—
For Tom the Turkey’s here to set things right.”
As wide as Starbucks, nearly twice as tall,
Stood massive, angry fowl here in the mall!
It towered high above the human din,
And giant sack hung low beneath its chin.
In deadly arc swung sack as fowl fiend spoke,
But those who saw it took it for a joke
And carried on their eager ways to shop,
Assuming Tom was but elaborate prop.
Their nonchalance The Turkey more enraged;
Now war upon the heedless crowd it waged—
A single kick from massive feathered thigh
Sent nearby swath of dorklings up to fly.
Then caravan of carts with plasma screens
The bird dispatched to shattered smithereens.
A darksome den of geeks then caught its gaze;
They would be the next the bird would raze:
“You emo tweens now swarming in Hot Topic—
Let’s put your innards in a sack canopic
And boil them pale to make my gravy broth;
A fitting consume-tion for your sloth.
“And you, in search of latest model phones,
The ones which are of last month’s model clones.
No need to sweat the overage folderol;
Your plan is done—now who you gonna call?”
The beast unleashed new feather-frenzied hell
And rent the twittering texters, cell by cell.
Any who survived now stay in touch
With bandaged cast, and roam upon a crutch.
The angry avian sought victims more,
And soon espied the main department store.
…remainder to appear on Thanksgiving Thursday.
This weekend only (11/23-24). Also available free any time through KindleUnlimited.
Happy Creepy Holidays!