Great Expectations

When I stopped going to the gym,
I lost my augmentation.
This caused a shrinkage rather grim,
Beyond my ex-pec-tation.

For laziness I’ve paid the toll
But I’m no slothy slouch.
I’m using my remote control
For curls upon the couch.

In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/expectation/

At the Emperor’s Speech

“He’s frowning with such seriousness
But I can’t tell what’s the matter.”

“No worries; his imperiousness
Is just leaking out his bladder.”

In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/seriousness/ 

Did You Hear That?

The strangest thing has just occurred:
A ripping sound I thought I heard.
And judging by the eau-de-turd,
It came from under, where you’re furred.

The only mystery that remains:
Someone should check your shorts for stains.

In reply to this WordPress daily writing prompt: dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/heard/