And now, the climactic second half of Tom Turkey’s retail assail (first half here)…
The giant, pissed off turkey is in a shopping mall during Black Friday, about to enter a department store to wreak some havoc.
Flinging victims more with swinging chin sack
Tom strutted on, to serve more turkey payback.
The first to see him spritzed him with perfume,
And offered free makeover looks to bloom.
The turkey’s giant pecker soon dispatched
The girl, then spat out bones and blonde hair thatch.
The other beauty mavens quickly scattered,
Be-misted as their perfume counters shattered.
Tom, now smelling like a willing date,
Paraded aisle by aisle to decimate.
Like Waldorf salad, shoes and handbags mixed
With bathroom fittings, bargains all, deep-sixed.
Tie-clips, leather wallets, arrow shirts
Were cast amidst the junior misses skirts.
The giant gobbler came to escalator,
And mangled it to shrapnel-cluttered crater,
Then leathery wrinkle-crimpled neck upstretched,
The upper story victims now to catch.
Intimate apparel soon was flinging,
But naught of naked pleasure was it bringing.
And any who midst furniture did crouch
Were soon unhidden by a flying couch.
Rage now piquing, Tom made final stop
Destroying china in the bridal shop.
With special pleasure, angry bird now shattered
Gravy boats and matching turkey platters.
The culmination of his rampage reached,
Tom Turkey now delivered one more speech:
“I, Tom Turkey, claim T-Day as my day,
And leave to you this bloody dark Black Friday.
Those of you who manage to find rescue,
Be thankful that at least I didn’t stuff you.”
Fun aside, sincere wishes to you and yours for a fun, fulfilling holiday, and some killer sale bargains. 🙂